tibias | ( one. ) » ( voice. )

[ in the background, there's the sounds of nature. rustling leaves, rushing water, chirping birds... and then there's a quiet chuckle from the owner of the journal. ]

This is quite the place. I've seen a lot in my time, but nothing like this. And that guide is handy! [ there's another small laugh ] Very thorough in its explaining this place. My thanks to its maintainer.

[ shanks pauses and there's the sounds of splashing. he's kicking his feet in the river. ]

If this place gets new arrivals in cycles, I imagine you get a number of these "I'm new here," journal entries. Aaah, well, that won't do. Let's spice things up and give you something more interesting than that!

Stop me if you've heard this one before... A Marine officer falls overboard during a battle with some pirates. He's a Devil Fruit user, so he can't swim and has to be rescued by a deckhand. When he's back aboard his ship, he thanks the deckhand and asks how he can best repay his underling for saving his life. The deckhand looks sheepish as he replies. "I think the best reward would be keeping it a secret, sir," he says, "If the other fellows knew I pulled you out, they might push me in!" Dahahahaha!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Swellow. He's a Pokémon, which I doubt you have if you're making pirate jokes.

[there are no pirates in pokémon

that he knows of.]

Think a pretty big bird, about as tall as your bottom half and with wings the stretch from finger to finger. [To Chien, anyway. It's different for other people.] They fly really fast and Soren's best flight was from one side of this place to the other within half a day.

[ shanks lets out a low whistle. ]

He sounds like an impressive bird.

[The bird on the other side mimics his whistle, getting in some practice while they talk. Even if Mimic is supposed to do moves.]

Soren's one of the best there is! [nevermind their defeat in july cough cough cough] Me and him are training to be the strongest pair in Luceti.

[PROOUD mama chien yup.]

So he's a fighting bird, then? How long have the two of you been training?

[Good question.]

I guess since spring? It's been a while...

Oh? That long? You must be able to do all kinds of things.

[ shanks, stop being an ass and teasing the poor thing. ]

[They're taking you quite seriously, sir!!]

A ton. If we had more time in space, we would've been able to figure out how to fly there like we do in the sky. And he's got the best speed in the air, so I was thinking that if we dove underwater we could be like a sharkman and catch our enemies by surprise.

[Books and stuff? Total loss. Battle and survival? Chien is your man.]

[ oh no. this will either end poorly or oddly well. ]

Can you both breathe underwater?

I can hold my breath for a long time, and we'll train Soren to do the same.

[He will teach Soren Dive, dammit.]

Good luck with that bit of training.

Yeah, and good luck finding a joke that's actually funny.

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillows?

What's a cordy pillow?

It's a pillow made out of corduroy—a thick fabric with lots of ridges in it.

Sounds comfy. What's the joke?

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're really making headlines.

[he doesn't understand

look at this face, shanks.

he

doesn't

understand.]

... Never mind.

Why would a pillow make headlines?

Have you ever slept on a wrinkly sheet and woken up with lines in your skin?

And?

If you sleep on corduroy it leaves lines on your face because of the ridges. It was a pun.

[ooooh

wow]

Your jokes suck so much, I'm embarrassed.

Kids these days...

Can tell a better joke. Listen to this.

[Okay, okay.]

So there's this guy who's just arrived. He realizes pretty quickly that he's not home anymore and pops onto the network to get to know everything. A while later, the man decides to try and make friends with a joke.

[He pauses.]

The joke's so bad, they only pop in to tell him how much it sucked and leave.

[voice]

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[voice] i apologize for how awful this joke is

[voice] completely accepted

[voice] (yay)

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