( one. ) » ( voice. )

[tibias]

[ in the background, there's the sounds of nature. rustling leaves, rushing water, chirping birds... and then there's a quiet chuckle from the owner of the journal. ]

This is quite the place. I've seen a lot in my time, but nothing like this. And that guide is handy! [ there's another small laugh ] Very thorough in its explaining this place. My thanks to its maintainer.

[ shanks pauses and there's the sounds of splashing. he's kicking his feet in the river. ]

If this place gets new arrivals in cycles, I imagine you get a number of these "I'm new here," journal entries. Aaah, well, that won't do. Let's spice things up and give you something more interesting than that!

Stop me if you've heard this one before... A Marine officer falls overboard during a battle with some pirates. He's a Devil Fruit user, so he can't swim and has to be rescued by a deckhand. When he's back aboard his ship, he thanks the deckhand and asks how he can best repay his underling for saving his life. The deckhand looks sheepish as he replies. "I think the best reward would be keeping it a secret, sir," he says, "If the other fellows knew I pulled you out, they might push me in!" Dahahahaha!

Comments

[justicereigns]

And just how is that supposed to be funny?

[tibias]

If you can't figure it out, I'm not going to tell you. It ruins the joke.

[justicereigns]

You say that like it could be ruined, but it was already too terrible.

[tibias]

You must have a very strange sense of humor.

[justicereigns]

You're the last idiot I want to hear that from.

[Although it's true...]

[tibias]

Oi, oi. I'm not an idiot.

... Usually.

[justicereigns]

Very reassuring.

[His sarcasm. It's like a sponge being wrung out. Positively dripping.]

[tibias]

Oh, I'm sorry, were you looking for something reassuring?

[justicereigns]

From a pirate? Now I know you're joking.

[tibias]

Aah, you're a Marine, aren't you? That explains the sense of humor.

[justicereigns]

As opposed to your idiot pirate's idea of a joke?

Spare me.

[tibias]

Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or are you always like this?

[justicereigns]

Always. I'm actually in a good mood right now.

[Not that you'd know it, but he is.]

[tibias]

If this is a good mood, I'd hate to see you cranky.

[justicereigns]

Exactly, so don't push it.

[Why does he get the eerie feeling that means the exact opposite will happen?]

[tibias]

Push what?

[ because the exact opposite is going to happen. congrats, smoker, you just got one of the yonkou interested in annoying you to see how you react. ]

[justicereigns]

Buttons you don't know how work.

[Oops. #BadLifeDecisions.]

[tibias]

You know, those buttons are usually the most fun to push.

[ LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES. ]

[justicereigns]

And here I thought you didn't want to see me grumpy.

[alksjdalsdkj the worst part is he says it so seriously, like he doesn't understand how this trolling thing works. Oh Smoker.]

[tibias]

I didn't say I was going to make you grumpy, just that buttons are tempting to push.

[justicereigns]

You know they're not literally buttons, right?

[He's just saying... you seem like you might not.]

[tibias]

It's called an extended metaphor.

[justicereigns]

I'm not sure you know what that is, but I'll go with it. Don't push the buttons.

[He says... calmly-ish. He is currently deluded that he has some measure of control over this situation. No worries, it won't last.]

[tibias]

Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Mr. Marine.

[ this is going to end poorly. ]